I saw the decline, I saw the fall
the tears, the heartbreak, the misery, the stall
was now weighed down, who once stood tall
the onset of June, yes it started it all.
If one always gets what he deserves,
when only He gives it and only He reserves
then why was I left out in the crowd,
was it in my skill, that He had a doubt?
Or did I lie to myself? Did I live in a bubble?
Or just tried to evade, stay out of the trouble,
Am I the culprit? Am I to blame?
for all this disgrace, and all the shame?
I'm all alone, though everyone's around
I'm weeping inside, though too happy to sound,
I want to scream, I want to shout
"Why was I undone?"But can never let it out
Will this ever fade away? Will this ever wash out?
This bug in me, it really freaks me out
I've tried to walk away, I've tried to move on
but something in me never lets it be gone
But I'm still a fighter, I'll fight again
will take the burden, will take the pain
will make sure there are no shades of gray(this time)
no blues, no glooms, blooms all the way
Something inside me, now makes me say,
"It's still too early, to call it a day"
Maybe something good, better than my past,
He has saved for me, the best for the last...
:-)
P.S- This might seem a little out of sorts, but the frame of mind that I wrote it in was pretty messed up.. :-P
Monday, February 28, 2011
Luck!! WTF??
Everyone of us has had his share of successes and failures. Some succeed tremendously, where as others may not have a profound count of the same. But can you always track your success/failure down to just one thing, luck??
People have various mind boggling ways to keep themselves lucky, and many weird talismans. Some take the same road daily, some wear the same coloured socks, some have got stone-studded rings to keep themselves 'lucky'. And the most of these weird practices surface when there are examinations around. I've even known a guy who did not change his inners during the 20 day exam schedule saying they proved lucky for him. And there's no denying that all of us tried something as weird(or even more) at some point in our lives . And later, when I looked at all this, there was just one thought that came to mind, Luck! WTF??
Friends, there's no such thing called 'luck'. There's always just one universal law that governs your share of success, and that is, 'As you sow, so shall you reap'. And try to ponder over all your instances of successes or failures, you'll always narrow down to an epiphany that the results that you ended up with were the outcome of putting the right amount of hard work(or the lack of it). Think of this, were you always successful with your talisman around?? Or were you always on the loosing end without it?? You well might end up with an obvious answer, 'No'(if you have yes as your answer, you aren't experienced enough my friend).
I don't say you should stop believing in luck, what I intend to say is don't over depend on your luck. Because, once you do so, you slacken up. For instance(god forbid), if you have a streak of failures that hit you, and you blame them all to luck, you won't be able to rectify yourself and prepare for the next battle thats heading your way. If you think you worked too hard and didn't get the reward in accordance to it, you probably have to rethink over 'how hard is hard enough'. You'll always get what you deserve, always, and that is bound to happen. It might be a time-dependant factor though, but success would come to you, come what may. All you've got to do is focus on your goal, and work towards it, undetered, relentlessly and constantly. And I can guarantee you that there's no goal thats hard enough, no feat you cannot achieve.
So friends, the next time your friends talk about a famous palmist down the street, or how lucky/unlucky they were the last time they took exams, you know what you've got to say(if you still don't, read the title again).. :-)
People have various mind boggling ways to keep themselves lucky, and many weird talismans. Some take the same road daily, some wear the same coloured socks, some have got stone-studded rings to keep themselves 'lucky'. And the most of these weird practices surface when there are examinations around. I've even known a guy who did not change his inners during the 20 day exam schedule saying they proved lucky for him. And there's no denying that all of us tried something as weird(or even more) at some point in our lives . And later, when I looked at all this, there was just one thought that came to mind, Luck! WTF??
Friends, there's no such thing called 'luck'. There's always just one universal law that governs your share of success, and that is, 'As you sow, so shall you reap'. And try to ponder over all your instances of successes or failures, you'll always narrow down to an epiphany that the results that you ended up with were the outcome of putting the right amount of hard work(or the lack of it). Think of this, were you always successful with your talisman around?? Or were you always on the loosing end without it?? You well might end up with an obvious answer, 'No'(if you have yes as your answer, you aren't experienced enough my friend).
I don't say you should stop believing in luck, what I intend to say is don't over depend on your luck. Because, once you do so, you slacken up. For instance(god forbid), if you have a streak of failures that hit you, and you blame them all to luck, you won't be able to rectify yourself and prepare for the next battle thats heading your way. If you think you worked too hard and didn't get the reward in accordance to it, you probably have to rethink over 'how hard is hard enough'. You'll always get what you deserve, always, and that is bound to happen. It might be a time-dependant factor though, but success would come to you, come what may. All you've got to do is focus on your goal, and work towards it, undetered, relentlessly and constantly. And I can guarantee you that there's no goal thats hard enough, no feat you cannot achieve.
So friends, the next time your friends talk about a famous palmist down the street, or how lucky/unlucky they were the last time they took exams, you know what you've got to say(if you still don't, read the title again).. :-)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
'Crush'ed
I know this is the most awkward and ridiculous topic to write on as your maiden blog post, but this was a little special to me, so I had to have it on my blog at the numero uno spot. Crush(though my t9 dictionary wants it to be brush instead) was something I wasn't new to, but was something I told no one about.. Could you imagine a kid of the second grade falling for a girl, and then falling for another one in 7th, and then another in 10th and then for the 10th one again and then again the 7th one later on?? Man! That sounds hard, but I pulled it off. And my so called 'crushes' were like a U.S's 'Classified' operation that even the U.N wasn't aware of..
I was a competitive kid right from the time I was a kindergartener. So I didn't let these factors affect my academics in any way possible. So, for all those who think I messed up my scorecards of late just because I fell for a girl, I'd like to 'boo' to your opinion.
And now that I have a PhD. in crush sciences from the University of Cupidelphia, I can tell you that the intensity of the crush keeps ever increasing and is always more intense than the previous one. And now is the time I would let you know about my latest crush. She was a very very very beautiful girl, one like a doll. But thats not what I fell for. I'd have liked her equally even if she had a scar on her face and no teeth and an eye-patch(seems much of a pirate's description, doesn't it??). I liked her for what she was from within. She was the bearer of the best heart god had made, one made of platinum and white gold. I fell for her in the 7th grade, but since she used to burst to laughter by merely looking at me, I pulled myself out of it. Then we met again on a social networking website(no prizes for guessing what website it was). We(atleast i did) used to have a good time chit-chatting. Then I moved to Lucknow(the place where I study) and we started talking over texts. And we became good friends in no time. Any delay in texting and I used to get desperate, just like a child. Imagine exhausting 300 national texts within 2 days(I wouldn't say I texted only her, but I also know I didn't forward a single text during that time, it was majorly her). I used to tell her everything and every whereabouts of mine, just like I was on twitter and she was my only follower. She was a helper too, and was a champ at it. My friends at Lucknow(they thought I was a smart guy, lolz) used to look at girls and say, "Dude! Check that girl out. She would so suit you." But I used to ignore them, just because I knew that even if they were talking about a Penelope Cruz look-alike, she couldn't be as kind hearted and sweet as the one I liked. They must have even thought of me as a pervert at some point I guess. But it didn't matter to me.
I loved helping her in whichever way I could, and, call me selfish, but I loved her falling in troubles(not big ones though. She is a champ at getting herself ill every now and then, and that scares me) just so that I'd get to help her again. And just when I knew I had fallen for her, I got goosebumps. I thought, "would she ever talk to me again if I let it out to her?" But then I did let it out, on the 10 of October 2010, the doomsday as I love to call it. She didn't refuse straight away, but i thought that was the most novel and unhurting refusal any dork could get from a princess(Girls can take some tips from this refusal). She said, "I'm not a girlfriend type. I'm way too pampered, stubborn and demanding. I'm hard to afford. I don't accept my faults but blame others quickly". And I swear to god I wanted her to be that way, coz that was all I liked her for. But then I realised, I didn't deserve her. She was way above what I could ever think of, just like a wishful thinking. And then I thought pushing this thought a little further to her would cut her off. So I chucked it. But I always wanted to say, "If affordability was the criterion, I wouldn't have fed you on glucose biscuits had you ever asked for danish cookies".
And now, we're just friends, but good ones, mind you. And I'm happy with that, atleast I didn't lose her as a friend after that incident. I'm a happy single ass who has no regrets of being single, and no regrets of letting it out to her on that day. And unlike other crushes where I was open to new ones, I'm not hoping for the Cupid's assistance for a new one. I'm just happy being her 'secret admirer'. The only girl that I'd love to look at would be her identical twin, even a clone would do , with identically beautiful heart and an equally smart brain(sorry for letting this out too late, but she was the smartest girl I met, with oodles of great qualities and talents).. Until then, I'm just happy being 'crush'ed.... :-)
I was a competitive kid right from the time I was a kindergartener. So I didn't let these factors affect my academics in any way possible. So, for all those who think I messed up my scorecards of late just because I fell for a girl, I'd like to 'boo' to your opinion.
And now that I have a PhD. in crush sciences from the University of Cupidelphia, I can tell you that the intensity of the crush keeps ever increasing and is always more intense than the previous one. And now is the time I would let you know about my latest crush. She was a very very very beautiful girl, one like a doll. But thats not what I fell for. I'd have liked her equally even if she had a scar on her face and no teeth and an eye-patch(seems much of a pirate's description, doesn't it??). I liked her for what she was from within. She was the bearer of the best heart god had made, one made of platinum and white gold. I fell for her in the 7th grade, but since she used to burst to laughter by merely looking at me, I pulled myself out of it. Then we met again on a social networking website(no prizes for guessing what website it was). We(atleast i did) used to have a good time chit-chatting. Then I moved to Lucknow(the place where I study) and we started talking over texts. And we became good friends in no time. Any delay in texting and I used to get desperate, just like a child. Imagine exhausting 300 national texts within 2 days(I wouldn't say I texted only her, but I also know I didn't forward a single text during that time, it was majorly her). I used to tell her everything and every whereabouts of mine, just like I was on twitter and she was my only follower. She was a helper too, and was a champ at it. My friends at Lucknow(they thought I was a smart guy, lolz) used to look at girls and say, "Dude! Check that girl out. She would so suit you." But I used to ignore them, just because I knew that even if they were talking about a Penelope Cruz look-alike, she couldn't be as kind hearted and sweet as the one I liked. They must have even thought of me as a pervert at some point I guess. But it didn't matter to me.
I loved helping her in whichever way I could, and, call me selfish, but I loved her falling in troubles(not big ones though. She is a champ at getting herself ill every now and then, and that scares me) just so that I'd get to help her again. And just when I knew I had fallen for her, I got goosebumps. I thought, "would she ever talk to me again if I let it out to her?" But then I did let it out, on the 10 of October 2010, the doomsday as I love to call it. She didn't refuse straight away, but i thought that was the most novel and unhurting refusal any dork could get from a princess(Girls can take some tips from this refusal). She said, "I'm not a girlfriend type. I'm way too pampered, stubborn and demanding. I'm hard to afford. I don't accept my faults but blame others quickly". And I swear to god I wanted her to be that way, coz that was all I liked her for. But then I realised, I didn't deserve her. She was way above what I could ever think of, just like a wishful thinking. And then I thought pushing this thought a little further to her would cut her off. So I chucked it. But I always wanted to say, "If affordability was the criterion, I wouldn't have fed you on glucose biscuits had you ever asked for danish cookies".
And now, we're just friends, but good ones, mind you. And I'm happy with that, atleast I didn't lose her as a friend after that incident. I'm a happy single ass who has no regrets of being single, and no regrets of letting it out to her on that day. And unlike other crushes where I was open to new ones, I'm not hoping for the Cupid's assistance for a new one. I'm just happy being her 'secret admirer'. The only girl that I'd love to look at would be her identical twin, even a clone would do , with identically beautiful heart and an equally smart brain(sorry for letting this out too late, but she was the smartest girl I met, with oodles of great qualities and talents).. Until then, I'm just happy being 'crush'ed.... :-)
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