'Crush'ed

I know this is the most awkward and ridiculous topic to write on as your maiden blog post, but this was a little special to me, so I had to have it on my blog at the numero uno spot. Crush(though my t9 dictionary wants it to be brush instead) was something I wasn't new to, but was something I told no one about.. Could you imagine a kid of the second grade falling for a girl, and then falling for another one in 7th, and then another in 10th and then for the 10th one again and then again the 7th one later on?? Man! That sounds hard, but I pulled it off. And my so called 'crushes' were like a U.S's 'Classified' operation that even the U.N wasn't aware of..

I was a competitive kid right from the time I was a kindergartener. So I didn't let these factors affect my academics in any way possible. So, for all those who think I messed up my scorecards of late just because I fell for a girl, I'd like to 'boo' to your opinion.

And now that I have a PhD. in crush sciences from the University of Cupidelphia, I can tell you that the intensity of the crush keeps ever increasing and is always more intense than the previous one. And now is the time I would let you know about my latest crush. She was a very very very beautiful girl, one like a doll. But thats not what I fell for. I'd have liked her equally even if she had a scar on her face and no teeth and an eye-patch(seems much of a pirate's description, doesn't it??). I liked her for what she was from within. She was the bearer of the best heart god had made, one made of platinum and white gold. I fell for her in the 7th grade, but since she used to burst to laughter by merely looking at me, I pulled myself out of it. Then we met again on a social networking website(no prizes for guessing what website it was). We(atleast i did) used to have a good time chit-chatting. Then I moved to Lucknow(the place where I study) and we started talking over texts. And we became good friends in no time. Any delay in texting and I used to get desperate, just like a child. Imagine exhausting 300 national texts within 2 days(I wouldn't say I texted only her, but I also know I didn't forward a single text during that time, it was majorly her). I used to tell her everything and every whereabouts of mine, just like I was on twitter and she was my only follower. She was a helper too, and was a champ at it. My friends at Lucknow(they thought I was a smart guy, lolz) used to look at girls and say, "Dude! Check that girl out. She would so suit you." But I used to ignore them, just because I knew that even if they were talking about a Penelope Cruz look-alike, she couldn't be as kind hearted and sweet as the one I liked. They must have even thought of me as a pervert at some point I guess. But it didn't matter to me.

I loved helping her in whichever way I could, and, call me selfish, but I loved her falling in troubles(not big ones though. She is a champ at getting herself ill every now and then, and that scares me) just so that I'd get to help her again. And just when I knew I had fallen for her, I got goosebumps. I thought, "would she ever talk to me again if I let it out to her?" But then I did let it out, on the 10 of October 2010, the doomsday as I love to call it. She didn't refuse straight away, but i thought that was the most novel and unhurting refusal any dork could get from a princess(Girls can take some tips from this refusal). She said, "I'm not a girlfriend type. I'm way too pampered, stubborn and demanding. I'm hard to afford. I don't accept my faults but blame others quickly". And I swear to god I wanted her to be that way, coz that was all I liked her for. But then I realised, I didn't deserve her. She was way above what I could ever think of, just like a wishful thinking. And then I thought pushing this thought a little further to her would cut her off. So I chucked it. But I always wanted to say, "If affordability was the criterion, I wouldn't have fed you on glucose biscuits had you ever asked for danish cookies".

And now, we're just friends, but good ones, mind you. And I'm happy with that, atleast I didn't lose her as a friend after that incident. I'm a happy single ass who has no regrets of being single, and no regrets of letting it out to her on that day. And unlike other crushes where I was open to new ones, I'm not hoping for the Cupid's assistance for a new one. I'm just happy being her 'secret admirer'. The only girl that I'd love to look at would be her identical twin, even a clone would do , with identically beautiful heart and an equally smart brain(sorry for letting this out too late, but she was the smartest girl I met, with oodles of great qualities and talents).. Until then, I'm just happy being 'crush'ed.... :-)