A Trailing Chase(my maiden poetic attempt)

I saw the decline, I saw the fall
the tears, the heartbreak, the misery, the stall
was now weighed down, who once stood tall
the onset of June, yes it started it all.

If one always gets what he deserves,
when only He gives it and only He reserves
then why was I left out in the crowd,
was it in my skill, that He had a doubt?

Or did I lie to myself? Did I live in a bubble?
Or just tried to evade, stay out of the trouble,
Am I the culprit? Am I to blame?
for all this disgrace, and all the shame?

I'm all alone, though everyone's around
I'm weeping inside, though too happy to sound,
I want to scream, I want to shout
"Why was I undone?"But can never let it out

Will this ever fade away? Will this ever wash out?
This bug in me, it really freaks me out
I've tried to walk away, I've tried to move on
but something in me never lets it be gone

But I'm still a fighter, I'll fight again
will take the burden, will take the pain
will make sure there are no shades of gray(this time)
no blues, no glooms, blooms all the way

Something inside me, now makes me say,
"It's still too early, to call it a day"
Maybe something good, better than my past,
He has saved for me, the best for the last...
:-)

P.S- This might seem a little out of sorts, but the frame of mind that I wrote it in was pretty messed up.. :-P